Why Did I Bother ?

It seems that for these past entries, there's alot of questions posted -- simple, yet with plenty of repercussions. By choosing another way, I may end up in a very different scenario and situation. Its like the movie, Sliding Doors, that starred Gywneth Paltro.

Oh well - back to the unfortunate decision that I've made some weekends back. Yes, stupidly, I have agreed in helping a fren out in uploading some web pages, simple. Simple enough - just uploading.

But, I should have guessed how things will turn out - as predictable as any screenplay that our National Communications/ Entertainment channels, be it Ch5, Ch8, can come up with -- this simple task of uploading, mortifed itself into something bigger, and more time consuming.

Initials were the simple change of identation in 1 page, and helping to load missing pictures from the site. Not a problem at all, these were really easy task. However, the list doesn't stop there.... there came request to help look into Error messages showing up on the site, to looking into why some functions are not working (you guess it right, their web developer was an amateur) These functions were relatively easy by far, however, that will involve me precious time in looking through the codes and figuring out what's causing all this errors, even if we are looking at the simplest codes. For those of you has done programming, the familiar time send in front of the system, the tedious-ness it is to look through codes done by OTHERS, and trying to figure out what goes where. With an added "delight" - it was without a single documentational tags on the codes. sigh

So, my labourious job begins. Instead of resting and enjoying myself, taking the evening slow, I dragged myself out of a well-deserving rest for this favour that i have agreed upon. I was tired... especially so this week. It was my company's annual forum, and work has been at its peak. Having my regional counterparts visiting all at the same time because of the forum doesn't help either. It hasn't been easy for me - but our dear friend had to "rush" me, though politely, on this piece of work, which she showed me on Sunday afternoon, and giving me a dateline of 1st Dec. Of course, I told her that it was impossible for me to meet that sort of "dateline" - Man! Datelines! Can you believe this ?

Besides dragging myself out of the rest that I badly needed, I had to scramble for tools. Its been awhile since I've done any serious web developing... and most of my tools are left in a konked-out hard drive that I refuse to fix only because I have better things to do in my spare time, rather then further indulge myself in more "computer" related things.

Armed with nothing but a CD of the latest images of the site (so I was told), I went into my task. First things, I needed an IP address - I have no IP address that I can FTP to, I wasn't able to see a THING from the backend, let alone to edit the site. I was only given the domain name to work with. And, about everything else, I have to figure it out on my own.... pings, tracerts, which folder the files/images were kept on the server... But fortunately, I was able to figure that out.. thankfully, my tietary education in Computer Science, and a good grade in Networking helped.

Figuring everything out myself wasn't a fun task, even though I did manage to plulck the correct numbers out of the air. Kidding. It was fortunate that the site wasn't that masked, and there wasn't any PING blocked.. err. okie, getting too technical. I should stop that.

And, having myself armed with a said updated version of the images in a CD doesn't help either. In fact, despite figuring out all the network aspects of it, it became a disastor. Working with wrong information is indeed dangerous.... In the end, I slept at half past 2, went through needless stress. I guess I could handle that... It was part and parcel of working on a site gone haywired. Be it work or doing it as a favour for a fren. I accept it. What I felt indignant about was that very same fren of mine pinned all blame on me, sighting that I was incompetent and wasn't able to take simple instructions.

I was sooooooooooooo so so so so mad - first things first - this is a favour. True. I screw it up - but, in the first place, they should have specify that the contents of the CD was of an older version!!!!! And, I was to take the blame for everything? Honestly, I feel that I could have saved myself from all this by not taking up their request to assist them in their website.

Without proper tools (contents of the site that is), with alot of finger pointing, and having them not telling me how some stuff was being done, without having any vital information or whatsoever - they expect me to help. And, when things fail because I tried to help, they blame everything on me - calling me incompetent and not being able to take instructions. "Kei-Kiang" to that effect.

Armed with my credentials and experience in web application developement, I dont' think I deserve such statements or comments directed at me. You might say I am proud. But I know what I can do, and what I cannot do. I was paid to work with webs and develope webs before, it was once my occupation. I know what I am doing, and I can manage simple instructions..... I manage projects now, and I GIVE instructions and TAKE instructions very well.... Despite all these, she blamed it on ME.... that I couldn't take instructions... in the first place - what instructions were there?

She said she told me that the CD was images, and not the latest. But, as far as I recall, I asked her if the images were ALL inside, as I would be using them to upload to the site. She denies that, and said that it was my fault, because, she has told me that its the older version. There seems to be no logic at all, because, if I was the one who is uploading the files, wouldn't she be giving me the UPDATED copy to be uploaded instead??? Why give me the old copy????? Why would I need an old copy? To upload back-dated-information ??? really, no logic. Her arguments were baseless. She insisted that it was my fault. My fault because I loaded a copy of something she has given me to upload??? I can't really figure this one out - maybe someone can help decipher it for me.

To be fair, I was in some sense at fault, yes, because I should have checked -- knowing that I'm dealing with such unIT savvy people. I should have preempted such a situation. It was just at the back of my mind, a nagging thought to ask me to check, but, i choose to believe what she's told me. I should have taken her like a stupid end user, and verify EVERYTHING first before proceeding. But, I thought : She was, after all, managing the site since the site was up.

The golden question will be : WHY DID I BOTHER ?

The only reason why I didn't take up web developing as a part time job is because, I rather earn a couple of grand lesser and enjoy my time after work. I feel that its well worth it, though many of my friends have encouraged me to take on this side line. But I simply refuse - because, I believe in rest. Rest is my priority. Enjoyment. Not money.

True, money is important, but money, is not everything. A couple of grand for a decent night's rest and enjoyment - why not ? A small price to pay for my priority, really.

And yet, I took on the favour of helping a fren out - the worse equation. No money, no time for rest. Shitty.. and worse - no appreciation. I guess, that's still okie. I dont' need gifts or recognition... In place of this, I get sacarstic remarks, bad relationship, rebuking.. WHY???? WHAT IN THE NAME FOR ?

Should I be upset with this fren of mine - or at myself for getting myself into this ?

Anyway, I have resolved not to help anymore. Favour of this sort, is something one should avoid.