An Exact 5-Mths After

BEFORE LUNCH

its been a great while since I've updated my blog. In the span of just 5 months, I have celebrated the brand new year with tubs of ice cream, celebrated my birthday with bottles of alcohol but fortuantely none getting drunk. Cheers to a new baby addition to my own home, many more cheers to the great many frens who have tied the knot.

What made me re-open my blog and continue to write. Perhaps, the lack of time to write in my own hard cover journal serves a great portion of why i'm writting things online, and, at work... instead in the comfort and privacy of my own room.

Journaling the events that i've been through and having to reconcile thoughts with these events in my mind have somehow become an impt part of my life - it gives me time to pause a little in the midst of the hussle and bussle of things. It allows me an inner space that i can move and exist as an entity - as an amboe. Feeling detached and existing as 1 is impt - because, in life, we have always been attached to a group, to some body, some organisation, to another entity, co-existing as a subset, as a congregation - it is vital to exist as a lone self, to know that one is indeed unique. Not that I need to feel special, but more correctly, i need to know that i am an individual who doesn't need to "go-with-the-flow" ever so often in this society that i live in. I am allowed to have my own ideas, my own idea of what life is, how i should react to situations, instead of conforming to what to do, how to react, what to say, as how global society puts it. The things i feel, i need to think how i feel... felt... a nd feeling hmmmm... - its all written at my own pace, into those white, crisp and well penned hardcover. Exploring the vituals of one own's inner thoughts and mental visuals of the vanilla skies we paint on our own.

Hence, without such an escapade in my mind, and my life - its as if, my ideas and qualms and musings are floating upward to the great wide open sky, to be lost forever, as if it was forced to vapourised in the midst of the crashing stress of work, and the insanely neck-breaking speed that time races in - demanding most of my energy and efforts to stay focus on fire fighting. Not much of a retrospect of an introspective way of life that I've always hoped to have. Ideas are violatile - they tend to get derailed when one starts to "de-focus" from the subject and not expound further into depths yet to be explored in one's inner intelletual ability and capability.

Do you find it difficult to do that when you're too "tied up" and pre-occupied with life's daily affairs. It almost seems that the only thing you do is to fight the fires of life and trying to keep yourself unscath. I've been pretty tied down with work - well, rather, adapting to the new work life. Have hitched onto another new company in the span of 6months. It was a pretty good reason why i jumped the bandwagon - a darn good one at that too i might add. I came across an article once that switching jobs do take a toll out of one, and somehow, the stress level goes a knotch higher.

Anyway, I am happy where i am currently - with a great lady boss - who said that lady bosses were mean little clowns... I love the work here. The team I'm working with are excellent people. I do really enjoy the first 5mths of work at my new employment. However, this employement has "stolen" me away from the very much needed thought escapade... I am trying hard to rectify it now - hence, resuming to write a little in this blog.