Thank The Lord - It is a Glimmer of Hope

I would think I will be having good news to announce to all of you out here... (",) But, I can't disclose the matter as yet. Its in regards to the "inhumane" hours that I have been subjected to for the past weeks.

Cabin, thanks for the encouragement. Knowing a peer out there suffering the same fate does strangely help to sooth the frustration that I am having. Hmm... I guess, touching on a sensitive knotch, salary scales of those who are working shift hours tend to higher. Unlike mine - Mine basically remains.... which isn't fair. True. I still work 8hours aday. But, honestly, the effort to wake up before dawn breaks everyday to potter to work isn't the most desirable.

Honestly, I'm not too sure if its justifiable to be expecting more in terms of salary scale when on shift hours. Is it ? A couple of my friends said that no doubt the company should be... there are some who differ. Its a normal 8-hour day anyway. Which, is true too.

Of course, I'm not intending to demand for a pay raise as I don't intend to go on such a shift. There seems to be something going on up there, aka management. Fortunately, these "happenings" are in my favour. Phew! Thank God for my understanding boss.

I haven't really spoken anything nor voice out my concerns to him yet. I am thinking of doing so by the end of this month. At least, I've tried. Right? I'm planning to ask for a more sanely hours. Gawd! I do projects, not operational! True, sometimes, in project management, one has to adhere to the time zone. I understand that logic, but, I am also trying to make my body follow suit in this understanding.

Unfortunately, migraines start to turn up - tireness, fatigue sets in. I reckon some people are just pure nocturnal. Its like making a bat work in the hot afternoon. . . That's just plain cruel.

However, we're in the big, mean corporate world, what can I expect out of that ? So, well - i guess, those time shifts should be left to people who are able to adapt to it. For me, no deal. Its not as if I can't do it.... but if my body can't adapt to that sort of hours, then, its tough to move forward.

All said and done - all is not lost. Hope comes in an email annoucing some country allocation. (",) Whew! I'm still remaining status-co in terms of country jurisdiction. However, with certain trimmings .. and hopefully, all work well from there.

Do hope that in time to come, you wouldn't see me writing this blog at 6am in the morning.

Back to work... and more hoping. (",)

The 4th Day of Unorthodox Living

I miss being normal - getting up for work at half past 7, getting on the train. Heck! Even the peak hour work crowd will be a welcome sight. I miss going back late at 10pm at night, plong in front of the tele, watching CSI till midnight, and not worrying that I wouldn't be able to wake up for the day's work tomorrow.

I do miss those little minute mundane in an everyday work life. Yes, its a quarter past 7 now, and I have been up since quarter to 5, and at work at half past 5. Its unorthodox living for the past 4 days. Its a short 4days no doubt, but it seems like so-so long since I had a good rest and a good sleep. It seems like i've been up 96 hours straight without even catching a wink of sleep at all. I am tired. Very tired.

I slept at half past 8 last night, missing out on alot of quality time with my family, with K. *sigh* I do see a potential danger in being engaged to such working hours in the long run. I do not have the luxury in spending time with my family... because, when i'm at work, they are in bed. When they are off work, I am in bed... The time just doesn't work out right, and something is bound to suffer.

Given the fact that I'm on australia holidays rather then Singapore, it will be even worse. Public holidays are a time to be spend with family and friends. Getting this luxury taken away is not a pleasant feeling. True, there's off-in-lieu, but sometimes, off-in-lieus are useless, because, likewise the sleeping-waking hours bit, when everyone's on their Public holiday, I will be working, and when they are working, I'm having my off in lieu. I don't think K has that MANY leaves to accomodate my off-in-lieus....

Hence, after much consideration, I honestly think that this work schedule doesn't quite fit in right for my long term good. True, the colleagues here are great, I love my job... but the timing? That's something that I cannot accomodate at the expense of my family.

I am seriously thinking about jumping the ship - its only my first year before I first stepped in. I was planning to stay a good 4 to 5 years, or, maybe more. But, seems like it isn't really that possible if the management doesn't burge on this work hours. *sigh* As much as I do not want to seek greener pastures, it seems like I'm force to do it if nothing is being looked into.

I'm planning to voice my concerns only at the end of this month (don't say I never try to accomodate to the work-hours)

Its true, that I'll probably take a week to adjust to the timing and not feel tired. I'm already feeling more awake now as I blog. But, to think about the lost quality time with K, I dont' think its feasible.

I GOT TO DO SOMETHING... but I have to wait now - 2 1/2 weeks more to go. Hmm.. or maybe I should try for a month ? I wonder... Lets see how it goes. So, there's 2 time lines, either I voice it out at the end of this month, or after a month since I've started this insane schedule. Will have to see which one will be a better time.

MAN! this is tough... Life isn't getting easier for me it seems. Need to seek strength from a higher being. ..hahha

Back In an Unearthly Hour

hello everyone.....

I've been in office for past an hour now... and its 6:30 am. Yes. You have got it right. Its half past 6... Early - early - early. Its ridiculous being stuck on this timing, no, I'm not on an operator's shift work, no, I am not in network operations team, and, no, I am not part of the call centre group. My portfolio is a consultant, and why am I, up at freaking 5:30 am, starting work ???? Where everyone is in their cozy, warm beds, underneath soft and fuzzy sheets ???

Durn! Ever since I've came on board, I've made numerous sacrifices. No doubt, the work experience has been enormous. But, life isn't all about work experiences... So what if one has a better career, or one has more work experience then the other person... or... if she's a manager and you're not... or, that she sits higher up in the corporate ladder then you. Honestly, its saddening to know that we find pleasure in acheiving heigh in such a ladder. Is that all to life ? Making money and not having time to spend it ?? Is it the high life people that gets the full benefits of being "happy" ?

More often then that, I don't see the high life society being genuinely happy. Probably their fancy cars/abode/jewellery/accessories bring momentory fervor and gladness.. Even excitment. But never will they understand the full-glory of not having to work so hard, and enjoying the the moments of life that are simple...

I find simplicity and taking moments to enjoy time, to relax, makes me a happy person. Rather then running that "high-life" and being "busy" all the time with work. Let's just put it this way. Climbing the corporate ladder isn't where I find my happiness in. I find simple life, non-glamorous lifestyle relaxing and rewarding.

Okie, i guess this whole gripping on high-life and corporate upgrades are totally irrelevant to my initial write up. To sum it all - I HATE to wake up early. I HATE to start work at such an unearthly hour..

Its only the first day, and its only the first hour, and I am feeling depressed already.

*sigh*

3 Major Cities in 4days - Cool Hotel!

I have been alternating time zones for the past 4 days. Its tiring.

I was in Melbourne on Monday. Its extremely windy over there. Not to mention I saw blue trees outside the hotel lobby! Cool! Its lovely, not to mention, a little on an alien-y look. It does look weird, but, somehow an element of haunting beauty seems to draw one's attention to it.

The hotel room I stayed in was - WOW! - It had all the fancy little technologies attached to it. It came with a smart-light sort of feature. The bathroom lights gets turned on by itself when one walks into the it. How cool is that ! (",) Of course, being very little aquainted with such rooms, I was facinated. (The last time I had this "walk-into-the-room-and-lights-turn-on-its-own" was back in school. True. The novelty should have wore off since i get to expereince such a smart room feature on a daily basis. But.. but.. this is different. This is a HOTEL ROOM. Hotel rooms aren't always that fancy... They could be pretty.. or clean... or posh.. but seldom do I see technology gadgets are considered to be put into a hotel room. Its really fancy.)

Along with the automatic-light-turn-on, there was a humongous LCD screen. 60''. There were four speakers set at each of the four corners of the room, giving a surround sound experience. WARNING : No scary movies on a rainy night in Sofitel-Melbourne.

[I've taken pictures of the room. I'll post it here once I get back home.]

The sound was perfect - Damn! Its a waste I didn't bring along my DVD collection!

The room was fabulous.. Melbourne city is equally fabulous. Amongst so many cities in Australia, I love Melbourne the most. It has this special place in my heart. I can't really explain why... probably its that memorable time I had with K - it was a cold-cold winter's night, and we braved the rains and the 3 degree weather in search of good miso soup. We found the perfect place and had a warm japanese meal. I can't remember what I had, but I remembered the hot soup from the Sukiyaki and the miso soup we ordered. Sitting there in that warm little restaruant with that special someone. It was a special feeling... something that I will not forget in many years to come. (",) Its lovely.

That was 6mths ago. 6mths later, that special someone wasn't in Melbourne with me this time. His back in singapore. Busy with work, and looking out for Designers for the new home that we have. Yes, you heard it correctly. We have just bought ourselves a place. its lovely, and I do love the place alot.

As for wedding bells. It'll be on the our anniversary where it all started. (",)

IGNORANCE is Bliss. HAPPINESS is a choice

Hello everyone,

I am taking the banner of IGNORANCE from now on wards. Why ? Because, I have learn that ignoring and not bothering is the key to happiness. (",) I guess all of us can never truly be free from unreasonable and nasty people be it at work, play and yes, even within our own haven - our family. It seems for the first time that escaping and fleeing makes perfect sense. Indeed, when it comes to facing people that you care about, but are unreasonable and nasty, the best step forward is to ignore.

However, there is a thin line between ignoring and being an easy step-over. Hence, that's where the seng-mok-ness ( meaning shrewd/wise in cantonese, with a "ness" to depict theory) should start to arise from the hidden recesses of one's emotional mechanism of self-dignity and self-protection.

To ignore doesn't mean to appear indifferent, and feeling damn "bang" inside your own heart. (ie. to be really upset and frustrated about the situation) The art of ignoring is appearing indifferent, and also feeling calm, collected, with a "huh??" attitude.

Not being affected is the key. Remaining non-chalant about it is the primary factor... Its like walking past a chained-up dog that is barking at everyone that walked past it. There are a few reactions that people might take.

1) You might take offence at it, thinking... "gosh! the dog probably thinks i'm a bad person, that's why its barking at me", or "man! that dog hates me, it keeps barking at me." *feeling damn bang*

(of course, the truth is far from that. The dog was barking at EVERYONE that walked past it.)
Moral : Why get affected ? If you can't see the complete picture and understand, ignore. Does it really matter that the dog is barking at you ? For all you know, the dog might be hurling abuses at you for no reasons. Are you hurt in anyway ? NO, you are not. Ignore. And walk away.

2. Another attitude that you might take is to wonder why its barking in that manner. Its probably mad, you would think. And walk on, not being affected, and continuing your walk.

(That's the exact attitude that I will learn to adopt. )
Moral : No harm done. I dont' see the complete picture, and there is no need for me to know because it doesn't concern me. Even if I am able to see the complete picture, I can't make that dog stop barking can I ?

Of course, you might say that its a barking dog... precisely. Unreasonable people are just like the barking dog depicted. . .

Its strange that we let the nastiness and unreasonable-ness, be it a total stranger or someone that we are close to get to us. Could it be the mindset that we have, that is, if we treat other people nice, others are suppose to recipocrate that sort of benevolence, or cordial-ness, or friendliness....

Unfortunately, this is not the case. So many experiences in life prove us wrong, but yet, the resilient nature of such a mentality still remains. I'm not saying that it is a wrong mindset... on the contary, it is goood thinking. If only everyone thinks that way.... If someone treats me nice, I should recipocrate. But, sadly, this isn't happening either. There's always others that think that they are a cut-above the rest, and they deserve to be treated this way by default while they step on everyone else as they move along.

"No harm done"... they bemused... "I am the KING/PARENT/BOSS/OLDER SIBLLING/YOUNGEST/MOST-DOTED-UPON, and I DESERVE to be treated this way." or, "I MUST have my way irregardless of anyone"...

Yes, unfortunately, society still find many an individual having such thoughts. Believing and abiding such a stand when reacting and behaving to the people around them.

Ladies and genltmen, we can't change such an adverse mindset, can we ? However, we are also not going to get ourselves bulldozed by such thinking either. Or, much worse, to be affected and unhappy about such a nonsensical behaviour of unreasonable people. Hence, the best approach - ignore.

Why do we get upset over other people's insecurities or snobbishness or spoiltness ? Why does their insolence affect us ? Why do we feel unjustified by their unreasonable and tactless outbursts? We should take pride at ourselves that at least we are not the ones that are unreasonable and demeaning other people. That's stage one... knowing that we don't belong to such a category, and neither are we on the same page as them. *PHEW!*

It is much responsibility to understand and see situations clearly. To behave in a way that will aid in the situation, and not lash out and act childishly and unreasonably. That is being responsible.

It takes much more responsibility to have wisdom, to understand and comprehend human relations. To respect others, and to be polite to others. Be it towards stranger, colleagues, family, friends. It is irresponsible to hail profanities, yell or demand others to do as according to our whims and fancies, just because we think we deserve to be treated that way.

It is this same wisdom that we exercise, when, to ignore other's injustice done unto us or to the people we care about. It is also with this same wisdom to understand why these same unreasonable people are behaving in this way.

Indeed, it is not easy to swallow such behaviour.. But, understand that it is not humble pie that we are eating, but rather, when we choose to understand and empathise the other party's unreasonable motives, we see a larger picture. And, at the end of it all, we know that we have choosen happiness by understanding and ignoring such insolence.

At the end of the day - what can these same unreasonable folks get from us ? A smile perhaps. But that's about it. Bottom line, they will not get what they want --- that is for us to get upset and angry enough to retaliate and recipocrate their outbursts. To be rude and nasty. In the end, we become manipulated by these same people that we scoff at for their nasty and rude behaviour. And, we become... THEM.

We must not let the unwanted "virus" spread. A word of wisdom as a rebuttal - yes. (that's when seng-mok-ness come into play)

But, bare in mind - lets not pass this "rude/nasty/unreasonable" bug around. Its not worth it. Happiness is a choice. We should learn to ignore, and choose to be happy.

That's what my God taught me. That's what I shall learn.

(nb : feel free to comment/share your thoughts. I'm toying with this idea and how we should react and behave toward others. Its always good to analyse and discuss.)

4th Day of Chinese New Year

I was late for work today. I'm hardly late for work since my company made the big move to the far east. Use to be late for work when we were in Raffles Place... Hehe... strange, because, my home is actually nearer to town, as compared to SingPost. Oh well.. one of the unexplainable things that happen in life.

That aside, GONG XI FA CAI. Sheng ti jian kan, wan si ru yi....

This year's Chinese New Year has been particularly interesting. It started off on the eve of it. Good news came in one after another - and, its a good thing. First, we got a phone call from our housing agent that our offer has been accepted by the owner of the flat that we are looking at. I love the place so much, and it has got stuck in my mind's eye and thoughts for so many days before the owners make the decision. I remained full of hope for the full 4days of waiting. Even before I got the owners acceptance of our offer, I went totally bersek on home magazines. Man! It was ridiculous. I spend $15 all in all on those... honestly, I wouldn't say that its an amount that create waves really... but, everyone just went WHAT! when told that I spend 15 bucks on magazines.

Anyway, you can see that I'm blabbering.... because, 1/2 of my mind is on my traveling schedule for next week. In which, I'm not keen on, as I honestly do not want to travel. Sigh. :( Its going to be a hectic one - jumping from one end of Australia to the next. Fortunately, I gave the trip to NZ a miss this week because of Chinese New Year. Else, I'll be stuck in a freaking cold Auckland, suffering a minus 2 degrees.

But, I reckon that I'll be going there soon anyway, whether I like it or not. Honestly, I've lost that fervour that I use to have on traveling. I use to get all excited about trips out of Singapore, and I looked for jobs that involve LOTS of traveling. Now, I wish I wasn't traveling that much. Is it a case of "the grass is always greener over the other side" ?

I wonder....