The Wonders of Technology

Its surprising what technology can do for one. I manage to trash some very sensitive things via instant messenging today. Some how, having to talk to the other party about unhappy things without voice or face, makes things easier. I know, a lot of people do prefer settling disputes face-to-face, rather then in such a manner. Many will think its insincere, or rather, it complicates matters more when done that way. Strangely enough, it worked very well for both of girlfren and I.

Lets call her J. (hmm.. not another J.. seems like i've been haunted by bouts of Js recently.. hahha.. ) But anyway, we both spoke better via msn, typing out what we feel and how upsetting things has caused us to be. I guess, when you type something out, it makes one think first. Unlike through direct contact talk or meetings... somehow, one just blurt angry words, without thought, without tact. Thus, causing the issue to be worsen. Like what they always say, its almost impossible to eat one's own's words when its spoken.

It revolved around her being dishonest in the many conversations that we when through. I know I was mad with her about something, but I honestly can't tell what. But somehow, when I told her about that particular event that took place, it did unfold before me what exactly I was upset over. Maybe I did not want to explore that event and unrevel what I was really angry about. Talking about that matter really did brought me back to that moment in time, and I realise what was the exact reason why I was so mad about.

We chewed one aother up "politely" -- if there's such a thing as that. But, honestly, I'm impressed with how I manage it. What I said was a matter-of-fact statement. It was easier to see things when you take a back seat and analyse things as a third party.

J's a good fren that I've made early this year by chance at the club. She is a student and relatively young, however I do enjoy the many conversations that we share, and by nature, I do feel that she's a sweet and naive soul. However, sometimes, there's always a nagging thought that needs to be stamped out at the back of my mind.

It does sound weird, but its complex to explain or try to even describe what goes on in my mind. But, to cut the long story short, we did end off being frens, frens that further understood the other. Which felt great. And that horrible feeling I feel - its dissipated. I'm glad that I ventured out on that "confrontational" conversation... . it was tough, and it can be quite daunting, yes, even on messenger. But, I really think it was well worth the risk that I took.

To the many misunderstandings revolving your frens... I do always vote for venturing into clearing the air. No matter how big a misunderstanding is, its not worth losing a friendship over that.

To the millions of friendship out there -- KAM BEI -- and to the millions of misunderstandings, lets clear with a glass of bubblely, shall we.

CHEERS

Going Strong

Its already thursday. Surprisingly... It seems that time passed by really fast this week. Without even thinking, its already thursday, just one more day to the weekends. (",) Whoopie! I am looking forward to this weekend. Nothing in particular. Just that weekends has been something that I look to since I came back. I miss the sun, the weather, the familiar sights and sound of home... Hearing familiar accents, seeing the all familiar slender asian people.

But of course, even in cosy singapore, there are still very strange people living upon the same soil on which I find all so familiar with.

I got an unexpected text message on my mobile after lunch from a someone that I've known long ago in the past. Let's call him J. A previous boyfren that I am ashame to talk about. Its during those younger days where one can be smitten by good looks, and never feeling appalled by the great many flaws that he possess, nor about the way he treated me then. From the money I've handed out to him to settle his gambling debts, to the subtle verbal abuse from him, that i'm not pretty enough, sexy enough, better-dress enough. Unlike the fancy girls his probably had before me. However, I reckon that I need to give him some credit for being was faithful for a full 3 months. Though, and after that.. it was probably a full-on open relationship to him. Well, at least over at his side, not mine. For someone like him, I reckon that it was quite a fit for him to pull off, being faithful to one person at one time. He gets unreasonably jealous easily, not because he loved me, but because of his own ego. In the end, I pride myself in initiate the calling off of the whole relationship and got over him.


Anyway, I got an out of the blue message from him. Here's the text exchange as far as I can remember.

J : Hi Xiao Mei Mei, how have you been ? Shall we have supper/coffee one of these days ?

(?????? -- err... and why did you message in the first place. neithertheless, being polite I responded. Besides, I don't hate him. )

Me : Been good. thanks. supper's a hassle. I don't drive anymore, tough to get out during the night to get food.


J : I drive, remember. Let's have Supper.

Me : Okie. Let me know when you're available.
(indifferent about the whole event... going with the flow for the heck of it)

J : Okie. :)

--End of conversation--

Its strange that anyone should bother. Text conversations have been passed like that for so many a time for as long as I can remember, its been years and years.. i can't even remember when it started, and to this day, we haven't had our coffee/supper. Not that I mind... i'm actually quite please that i didnt actually need to put up with having to go, out of politeness. And, after awhile, I realise that its easier to say "Yes" rather then "No", because nothing will materialise out of these exchanges anyway. If a "No" is given, a barrage of questions will follow. Not that it bothers me, but i just want to keep the message exchange short. Saving me both time and monies. Talking about saving time, by saying "Sure" will also save me the effort to think of an excuse, while trying to tell him that i'm being polite. It does sound strange doesn't it... haha..

I reckon it'll be so much easier to just ignore the message, but its not me to ignore people. I guess, when it comes to a point of irritance, I will ignore.

Its strange that people like to bring the past into the present. Especially the past which will have no concern whatsoever for the future. I wouldn't have an qualms if there's no contact whatsoever from J. It doesn't affect me, it just puzzles me. What motivation has he by doing that ? None, maybe, but I just can't help wondering. It puzzles me, and I thought I'll share this interesting behaviour in my blog.

Weird that some ex boyfrens and girlfrens come back leaving negative feelings in people, or bitter-sweet memories.... Me, I feel indifferent about it... hmm.. Am I human? I wonder... I can't remember the sweet memories.. maybe there was none? I can't remember. As for bitter, I can't find myself being angry or upset either. Just wish I had the money I paid out, back in my bank. Hahaha.. But well, I'm sure that that's a lost-course. sigh. Blame it on my youth, stupidity i might add. Oh well, its just money. At least, the rain has gone, and I can see clearly now. And, THAT in itself, is priceless.

Cheers to Me, (",) for being unaffected and still happy that all is unchange, happy that I have a boyfren now that loves me, and dotes very much on me, who understands and not manipulate me. Someone that I am glad that have found me.

Contradicting Feelings in Different Situations

Armed with as much zeal as I can, I took the train this morning to work. Never have I felt such a drag in coming to work. Having relocated to the far-flunk wasn't helping in any way to what I feel.

The greatly anticipated weekend came and went... it was too short, too fast. Its always the wait that takes so long, and the actual thing itself is way too short. It is short if one look at it in terms of days. I wait a full 5-days to enjoy only a weekend that is a short 2-day. Working out the math, it sure doesn't seem like a far-and-square game of waiting. Someone might say, I'll be excited to hop onto the train to get to work if things were the other way round. Or, taking an even nearer expample, I LOVE Mondays when I was in Sydney. As true and right that might be, I do not want to discuss about that right now. I just want to wallow and complain, whine and bash things up.

I hate mondays..... *sigh*...

Arggh.

Igniting Smurf Village to Highlighting Social Plight

You would have probably read this by now on CNA, CNBC, Yahoo News.. its everywhere... the burning of Smurf Village....... an advertising crusade to create awareness and solicite donations from the general public.

In this photo of a poster provided by Unicef on Tuesday Oct. 11, 2005, the cartoon Smurfs and their village are seen being bombed by airplanes. The recent advertising campaign by Unicef, both in print and on television, is intended to teach humanitarian, and provide visual impact on the world around us by using... well.. .the innocent, wholesome Smurf popluation.

Yet, on another note -- do smurf have fur ?? I always thought that they have blue fur instead of blue skin.. what say you?

Ode to the Great Unknown.

I would rather stumble a thousand times

Attempting to reach a goal,

Than to sit in a crowd

In my weather-proof shroud

A shriveled and self-satisfied soul.

I would rather be doing and daring

All of my error filled days,

Than watching, and waiting, and dying

Smug in my perfect ways.

I would rather wonder and blunder,

Stumbling blindly ahead,

Than for safety's sake

Lest I make a mistake

Be sure, be safe, be dead.

Read this in an email from a friend of mine, and it reminds me of what I've learnt while I was in Outward Bound School as a teenager. It was a short 5-day course, but it was a life changing one. It was one where I learnt to curb my fears for things unknown. Being fearless is not the key... taking on each challenge is. Willingness to step out of one's comfort zone both physically and mentally is. It is not easy, the effort put in at that critical moment is vital. That experience taught me that making mistakes is alright -- unwillingness to venture to the unknown is not.

Quidam

a nameless passerby, a solitary figure lingering on a street corner, a person rushing past, a person who lives lost amidst the crowd in an all-too-anonymous society. A soul that cries out, dreams and sings within us all. To that soul, Cirque du Soleil pays homage.

Quidam refers to the headless character that is featured, and, in literal sense, the embodiment of both everyone and no one, at the same time.The show focuses on a young girl, named Zoe. Depicting the inside of her imagination.

Quidam was the first show from Cirque du Soleil I saw live. Yes, I missed Allergia, which was about 3 years ago. When I realise that the shows were extending for another 3 weeks, I went online to book the best seats that I can get. Well, not that fantastic. 3rd row from the front... oh well... I can't complain I reckon. The show was no doubt good.

I was anticipating something fun and cheery to watch -- yes, I have skipped the reviews and only got sucked in to get tickets because it was Cirque Du Soleil. However, it was not one of regret. I was glad that I watched it. It was simply incredible. I have never watch anything like this before live -- it is refreshing, unique and stunning in its stage presentation. The colors of the stage, the costums, the music, pacing and the talent of the performers were marvelous, and breath taking. The control, the concentration of the cast was tremedous. Its something that you've watched, and not forgett.

The sights and sounds of it were brilliant. The only regret I had : I should have gone on a full stomach, because half the time, I was starving, and thinking of future foods to devour. Yes, in the very midst of Quidam. I do surprise myself sometimes -- having such a thought in the midst of such a show.

I have to say that Quidam isn't all spectacular in ways like Phantom, or, Fiddler .. . it has its own charm, its own strange, dark pulling feeling -- hmm.. how shall I put it -- Haunting? It has this mystic, lingering effect, a dark illusion that wraps and draws its audience ... the lights, the silence, the darkness, the vibrant colors, and sometimes, the subtle colors. The contrasting plain white sack like costumes to the elaborately designed and colored ones -- all well orchestrated to stay in one's visual eyes in their minds.

If you're thinking of catching it and hesitating, dont'. You should go watch it -- its pretty impressive. I shan't blog in detail, lest i kill the joy of your experience. Enjoy!