no weekend avail

have been working through the weekends - well, not exactly entirely. But, having to work even on a sunday nite's really suckie.but well - what to do. Come to think of it, if the company i work for isn't that crappy, think i'm okie with it. on this note, i think i better forewarn you that there's more whinning to be done in the next few para.

anyway, i think everyone would agree with me that the firm they are currently with is crappy. well, you shld compare with mine - no increment across the board for the past 3 years, no bouns, no annual appraisal, no leave carry forwards to the next year.. what else. . . i think that's abt it. I guess the worst portion is, its low morale for everyone here. Everyone's ditching the sinking ship right now. For me, alas, i have yet to find a haven. My motivation in leaving, isn't because everyone here has left, or leaving. But i think i've just maxed out in terms of mundane-ness in its work. Having manage to force my company into doing a systems migration and upgrade, and coming up with the template for the revamping of the website, setting all the standards and procedures and IT policies needed to be set, think my time's up to leave. After all this major stuff, i'm sure there isn't much to do around besides the usual maintainence. I'll be bored stiff. I have to look for something that holds more challenge then this. For goodness sake, i'm a 1/4 of a century old - i think i need excitement in the job i do. . i don't need mundane-ness, don't need stability, don't need fix work hours. I need challenges, need problems to pick my brain, to share my time.

I know, i do sound a little insane. But hey, i really do need that right now.

A colleague of mine, and a close friend has decided to tender this coming wednesday. I'm happy for her that she's found a job - one that holds prospects, growth and exposure. Really am - at least, she's not reduced to an "office boy" - like everyone here treats her. She's an honors grad mine you. She deserves more, and is capable of more. I'm looking forward to her moving on. and get out of this place.

For me, to say that i'm not affected at all isn't that accurate. I do feel upset, however, i think my gladness for her getting a new job is much greater then the sadness that i feel to see her leave. Before you think i'm the goodie-2-shoes, puting-other's-first-before-myself type - stop! i hate to be sterotype. But really - this calls for a celebration. . . at last, she's out of this.

monday blues??

was a pretty sunny day today, and i'm glad for it - its been rainy and gloomy for almost the entire week last week. Well, except for friday, that is - i got my mp3 player changed - but, now, the new one seems crapped up as well - gosh! this is infuriating !!! the player that cranked up was less then 1/2 a year old, and now - this! oh man! really upset with this. i can't believe it CMTech's a pretty good brand for mp3 players, well, at least, there's what i think. I picked CMTech cz of the tiny gadget they can come up with, compared to I-pod or Creative's jukebox. Its so tiny, its almost like a receiver. . . which is perfect for me... that means, no more huge bags to carry my disc man.

Sigh - looks like another field trip down to sim lim tomorrow again - I do hope it'll be alright after i format the mem inside. sheesh! talk abt annoyances... sigh - but well - what to do - i've already bought it, can't do much right?

Do you realise something ? - Its much easier to write things when there's a lot of negativity in a person. I mean, its much tougher to write or journal abt happy things - why ? i don't know- i know its strange. but i do know of ppl who can write perfect happy tales. for me, i just can't. Well, its not exactly just negativity, its also things that float in my mind during the day.. And, i have to say, that thoughts that float in my mind can sound pretty mellon colic at times. Before you start thinking i'm an extremely depressed person, or someone whose full of pessimissim. . . i have to assure you, that no, i'm not. The people who know me can bear witness to that. i am a cheerful individual. I am cheerful - i'm not exactly a live-wire, but, i have frens and acquaintances telling me that i have brighten up their day, cz i'm bubbly and cheerful - makes them forget abt their troubles. I have a fren who told me that after meeting me for lunch each time, he feels totally rejuvenated in his moods, and set to conquer the world again. Isn't that pleasant to know that i have such an effect on people ??? ( Of cz, i'm not trying to boast here, but thanking God how His made me to be)

I guess, one can't be cheerful all the time, or just be happy out of nothingness. That's human nature. For me, sometimes, i let my mind wonder find myself sizing up extreme end of things that can or may happen - being aware of so many misfortunes that can befall on me, i think i'll go on my knees and thank God each and every day - even the very breathe that i take this moment. I give thanks cz, i can be happy abt the things i have, and count my blessings and thank my God for the even the nittiest, grittiest things in life. Make sense ?

O, and before you think i'm some kind of spiritual flake or one of those holier then thou - i have to ask you to stop. ;) I'm not the goodie 2 shoes material. Trust me.. hahahah.. Just that, well -i prefer to look at things from different perspective - that makes one wiser, though, that comes with more responsibilities.. but hey - no one can have the whole cake and eat it, right??

cheerz

-nameless day-

Can't really come up with a title for today's blog section. Well, i'm just feeling happy. (",) Happy cz, today, i'm on leave - whew! its been awhile since i've really took time to slack and enjoy the day. Got up around 10 tis morning, and now, i'm in front of my pc, doing what i like doing online best - writing me blog and reading idle emails from frens.

Anyway, i think its a wonderful day out there today - unlike the previous days when it was doggone gloomy. makes me feel a little sad. strange shld weather affect a person's emotional well-being. Ya- come to think of it - hey, do you guys get affected by the weather too ? I mean, maybe i'm the easily influenced type - but, i don't know, if there's a natural thing, and ppl do get affected by weathers.

Sigh - having the thought that i need to turn in early tonite - on a FRIDAY makes me feel.. sigh.. what word shld i use to describe it ? ? ? - I know my guy frens will say "spoiler". You know, takes the fun out of fun - you spoil the fun, so, we "noun" it, and make it a Noun - Spoiler. That's the perfect word for it, though, well, very vernacular lah.. . :P

Have to at my fren's place at 1/2 past 6 in the morning !!!!! can you beat that. Well, yes, you have not heard wrongly.. in this part of the world, ppl are up and ready for marriages at obscence hours of the morning.. its strange isn't it - don't ask me - beats me too...

ahh.. the wonders of chinese cultures.. anyway, this is my first time having to wake up real early for a wedding - i'm usually the "audience" - those ppl who sit around and stuff their faces with food on the pretext of a wedding party. . . heheh.. either that, or, i'll be the usher, the recpetionist for the party itself. So, its still enough sleeping time and looking pretty for the "show".

SOmetimes, you really wonder if all these marriage ceremonies are just a show... To me, i feel there isn't an sanctity in marriage these days - married guys have girlfrens, and marriage ladies have boyfrens. Call me prudent - but, in my rule book - that sort of say - "that can't be right?what's wrong with all of you". . . but well - who are we to judge isn't it. And before you start anything, i have to set the record straight. i'm not against the married people whose doing that, but more of the mindset behind it.

Its kinda scary these days, cz, everywhere you turn, there's a story to tell, a tale to mention abt this. sad isn't it....

where is the sanctity of marriage ? maybe marriage has grown to be just a ceremony, a ritual in this modern society. its sad isn't it.. ... ...

Wiry Monday begins

Courtesy of a fren who sent me something via icq over the weekends...

"Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you
can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by it slef but the wrod as a wlohe. "

I'll check in later to blabber further on this - look out for this space. ;)

A Frightfully Frenzy Friday

Hey - its all in Fs.. haha - day was in a frenzy today - started went i got an alert from my network that my system is down. Made my way down to office hurriedly, without breakfast, and in an untidy fashion. Thank God today's Friday! Everyone on their way to work look a tee bit knacked from the week's work it seems. . . But, well, i'm sure this shadow of tiredness will visporize the minute the clock strikes knock off time. Hahahaa.. Ahhh.. the miraculous healing of the weekends.

But i have to say that that made my day zipped by, which is just as well. Its already 5 minutes to 4 - and soon, it'll be that miracle hour we are all waiting for. Hmm.. but i do hope i can leave earlier today - i hate it when things come in at the last minute that needs my attention. Its just plain annoying.

Anyway, enough of grippling on things - its a bad way to start on things - complaining and complaining. that's like an awful by product of life. Need to cut down on that. . . no. i'm not being prudent. Just that - sometimes, it gets people down, and for that matter, it gets you down -so, why bother ?

jay and david and post wb

just got acquainted with this new chinese artist from tv the other day. david tao's his name - well, his not exactly new, and no - acquainted as in, i know him, but he doesn't know i even exist.. but well - what the heck.. i love his songs. read the newspapers about him being a copycat on english's r&b, jazz flavours. Well, i don't think so - to me, if he is a copycat, then, let's just face it, U2's a copycat of bob dylan then.. but, are they ? Heck! NO! of cz not. . . i guess although different individuals may be influenced by some other icons, does not mean that they are mimicking their brand of music. Right ? Absoluately.

But for Tao Ze, or david tao - his pretty good - very jazzy, though it takes me awhile to understand what's he trying to say through his songs - i still enjoy them.

And, No, I still like Jay Chou. Why does everyone asks me if i've forsaken Jay, now that i like tao ze... strange. Why can't i like the work of two artistes at the same time ? its not as if i'm married to one or something, and the liking has to be exclusive.

Anyway, you shld try out tao ze's jazzy tunes like angel.. heard that his ultrasound album's pretty good too. (",) thinking of getting that - together with the rest of those other albums that's on the very-long list of "to-get-CDs".


A deviation from the 2 boys - its the 3rd day after my wakeboard session. Am happy that i manage to cross wakes both left and right of the boat. still haven't perfect it though, but, i think i'm happy. At least, i got the position of my arms correct for once - i still remember my previous run at sembawang - was constantly chided for the way they were... Now, well - its in the correct position .... but .. sobsob! my mates told me that i look like some lady in the supermarket doing my rounds. . hands on the cart, and looking out for purchases. Man! i'm suppose to look, lean and mean out that - not like a... a ..a *&*$% housewife! gosh! okie, got to practice that menacing scrowl in the mirror now.

blogging on blog

its only recently that i started playing around with the html and java scripting on templates in the blog. it can be quite fun doing it. . . my blog still looks really plain though. but i have a mind to spice it up a little.. that is, when i have the time.

well, what have i been up to ? i don't know, really - just didn't feel like jotting down anything into the blog these days - maybe i'm in a more pensive mood rather then a journaling one. Prefer to let my thoughts run across my mind, then pen it.. err.. type it down. Well, i'm prone to such moods these days - and, too many thoughts have been running amoke in my mind that, i keep reading emails wrongly. Well, some of you may have already experienced the scatter brain at work. . . Anyway, i'm sure scatter brain wouldn't be around for that long a duration, ya. So, you guys hang in there. :)

have u ever miss something or someone, but you know that you wouldn't get around to having it - ever ? its a horrible feeling isn't it ? but i guess, its a mind over matter - if you put your mind to it, one can achieve great things ? yes ? no ? I don't know - maybe? Sometimes we wonder why put ourselves through so much - enjoy what you have now, and think about the consequences later... Hmmm.. so which kind are you

1. the kind that calculate consequences and think and plan ahead
2. or the kind that say "hey, life is short - heck it! Go ahead, enjoy! consequences can be dealt with later"

I don't know i can't really put a finger which is better - maybe, we should do a little of both ? O, i don't know. Maybe i should go back to the caves and think through it, and come up with my little theory much later.

But anyway, for now, i think i'll choose 1. I dont' know - i feel vulnerable if i haven't think through things. As if i'm unprepared for life - well - though we can't really be totally prepared for life - but well - at least, there's some pre-emptive job taken.

well - i've got to go now - i know my blog isn't too exciting this days - but well - its my blog, not your's - i can write anything i want.. hehehhehe.. so long for now folks...

(ps - to some one i know who may be reading. ooooooooooooooooo )